Ruff Ryder

The best part of my day is on my bike. I've been riding to/from work pretty consistently for a couple of months now. I'm slowly becoming the "rides a 10 speed everywhere guy," as featured in the hit animated series "Family Guy."


I had a fender attached to my bike for a while, and finally took it off because it was detrimental to mounting my rear safety light - plus it's been dry for weeks. But of course, one day after work, it pours. I mean, dumps. So I rode home in my first rain ride, without a fender, and all that tasty oily, muddy, hepatitis filled gutter water splashing onto my back from my rear tire, and splashing into my face from my front tire.
Even then, it was refreshing, fun, and a great way to stay in shape.
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Tricia: Tom, residents all over Quahog have been effected by the heavy rains. Although some are doing their best to ride it out. For example, I'm standing here with 'rides a ten speed everywhere' guy. Sir, why are you riding your ten speed in the rain?
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: I don't mind, a little drizzle never hurt anybody. I like riding the ten speed because it's fun it gives me energy and it's a great way to stay in shape.
Tricia: What do you do for a living?
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: I work at accounts receivable at Quahog Insurance, it's not to demanding, the pay is good and it's a great way to stay in shape.
Tricia: Well we should wrap this up, you're getting wet.
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: Well I'm living life before the cancer I have kills me so I don't mind the rain. The water feels good on my skin, it's cool refreshing and it's a great way to stay in shape.
Tricia: What kind of cancer?
Rides A Ten Speed Everywhere Guy: It's rectal cancer, it's slowly eating away at my lower insides. It's a quick process, both painful and untreatable and it's a great way to stay in shape.
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I've seen some funny stuff having ridden hundreds of miles on the locals roads here. I actually hit a bird a month ago, which was gross. It wasn't badly injured, but I'm sure it sprayed bird flu all over me. I used to take a bike path that paralleled a main road, but later found out that the main road is faster, and safer, because the bike path is in disrepair, and has blind intersections. Plus, the bike path has a small colony of bums that live there. At 0615, on most mornings, this one long haired dude is always fishing with this old piece of yarn off the path, that runs over a small river. His cats are usually nearby. After changing my route to the main road, I no longer saw the guy, and didn't miss the stench of the hobo camp. However, the return trip of my new route takes me by these two old lady bums, who squat by this shrub every evening between 1700-1800. They creep me out, because it looks like they just laid a claymore or something.

There's also a lady bum fishing off the other side of the main road, visible on my return trip. I wonder if she knows that a fisherman bum is on the other side? Maybe they will meet one day, and fish together...
I've also seen more broken glass than you can shake a stick at. And I can shake a stick at a lot of things.

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