Saturday, August 25, 2007

The Dog Days of Prototype

Some recent notable events:

1. We have finished one full cycle of shifts. The most notable was the swings to mids shift, where we got off work at 2330 (11:30PM for you scrubs out there) and commenced partying till 8 am in order to adjust to the midnight shift (1900 - 0700).
Quick breakdown:
2330: Get off work, go change out of our smelly coveralls
2400: Our crew meets up at a local wings/sports bar. We had a buttload of wings and some beers. We ordered the "china syndrome" and "chernobyl" flavored ones, and sat with bated breath.
We briefed the procedure, checked our dosimetry, and established communications. The wings arrived, and we dug in, eagerly hoping to exceed our yearly exposure limit so that they would tell us that we couldn't come into work anymore.
Needless to say, we received more exposure from the radon gas that was baked into the wings, and went to work a few days later.
0100: We went to an after hours establishment and spent about an hour grabbing a beer or two. For some reason, all of Charleston closes down after 12pm on Monday nights. Ridiculous!
0200: Our entire crew assembled back at our house to begin imbibing with no repercussions. Instruments were collected, and the house began to fill with the sounds of 2 djembe's, 2 didgeridoo's, a guitar, and some horrible singing.
0330: A crewmate and myself walked over to the dock to do a little night fishing. Results: one croaker, which was grudgingly tossed back into the briny deep.
0530: Return to the house, to find half the crew passed out on the couches. We grabbed some more beers, and headed out back to the dock to watch the sunrise.
0700: Breakfast: we grilled up some steaks, eggs, and I made chocolate chip pancakes. A grand time was had by the 4 remaining awake members of our crew.
0800: End mid's party. We are officially shifted over!

2. A grandmother gives her grandson a gift. The gift of red lobster. A shipmate of mine received a gift certificate to red lobster from his grandmother, for five-zero dollars. Naturally, he wanted to share this gift with his colleagues. So thus four Naval Officers embarked on a journey to consume epic amounts of trans fats and triple fried shrimp.

1900: We pile in the car, morale was high.
1930: We are lost. In North Charleston nonetheless. It is dark, and the streets are poorly labeled. I think I heard a gunshot.
1940: With the help of my blackberry, I guide us to the eatery. We have arrived at the seafood feeding trough of America.
1950: We put our names down, for 4. 10 min wait she says. TEN minutes? Are you serious? At a flippin' red lobster? I don't wait for subcritical multiplication, let alone the staff at a trashy seafood chain. Seat me now!
2000: We are seated. The host brings us three different menus each. One is the standard menu. The second is there "as seen on TV specials" (no shit, he said this), and the third was... I don't even know what the third was, but it was there. I quickly moved to coloring a kids menu.
2010: After much debate on how we wanted to increase our cholesterol levels, we all settled on what we wanted to eat.
Me: Choose your own feast, coconut shrimp + crab alfredo.
Shipmate1: Three shrimp platter
Shipmate2: Ultimate Feast
Shipmate3: Ultimate Feast. Copy cat.
Bottomless cheesy bread all around!
We also order lobster dip and calamari as appetizers.
2035: The food arrives. After about three bites, I have diabetes.
2100: Red Lobster was a bad choice.
We pay, and pour into the car, there are talks of making large head calls at home.
0010: As I write this, I realize that the waitress didn't bring us our freaking sides!!! I ordered a baked potato. I GOT JIPPED. Add THAT to the list of things I hate about red lobster.

That's all the chronological events for tonight...

Other frequent prototype activities have been: crabbing, sleeping, fishing, and sleeping. I haven't gotten my room 100% light proof for mids, but it's good enough.

I may go see the doctor next week for prescription to help with my newfound high cholesterol.