Tuna Salad, Nuke style

Hello Shipmates!
Do you love procedure?
Do you circle x when you read the morning paper?

If so, this recipe is for you!

So get your grease pencil and your warm up your "point - read - operate" hand, because you're in for a treat!

How to make a great Tuna pasta salad, perfect for lunch at work, a picnic, or a snack:

For the remainder of this discussion, refer to the following table for reference guides:
KDOP: Kitchen Department Operating Procedures
KDCP: Kitchen Department Casualty Procedures
KPM: Kitchen Plant Manual
-Vol. 1: Systems
-Vol. 2:
-Book 1: Operating Instructions
-Book 2: Operating Procedures
-Book 3: Casualty Procedures
SPILLCON: Spill Control for Kitchens
Ing Chem Manual: Ingredient Chemistry for Kitchen Plants

GO!
This is your last piece of informal guidance; begin by using KDOP - 2, table 22: Tuna Salad.

KDOP - 2, Table 22:
1. Gather all ingredients:
a. 1 Can of Albacore tuna, 1 stick of celery, 1 tbsp of Onion, one cup of Farfalle pasta, salt, black pepper, 2 tbsp's of light mayonnaise, 1 tsp of lemon juice, half of an avocado.
b. Observe all expiration dates and packaging requirements per (Ing Chem Manual). Do not use expired ingredients.
c. Place on Kitchen counter, per KPM, Vol. 2, Book 1, OI 6.2: Kitchen Counter
2. Boil water using a class B, type II receptacle.
a. Fill receptacle per KPM, Vol. 2, Book 1, OI 10.1: Filling a pot, and condition water per Ing Chem Manual.
b. Boil water, per KPM, Vol. 2, Book 2, OP A.1, Gas Range Startup, and perform a normal Gas Range Startup
i. Refer to KPM, Vol. 1, Book 1, OI 12.1, Operating the Gas Range
c. Monitor water per KPM, Vol. 2, Book 2, OP B.2, Steady State Heat Operations, and add pasta when the prerequisites of the following references are met:
i. Ing Chem Manual, 533.3: Indications of a Wet Vapor
ii. KPM, Vol. 2, Book 1, OI 9.2, Adding ingredients to a Wet Vapor
d. Remove the pasta upon completion, according to article 440, Ing Chem Manual.
3. Chop and dice the celery, cilantro, and avocado, per reference KPM OI 15.1: Knife Operations.
a. Pare the ingredients as follow:
i. Celery & Avocado: .25 x .25 in.
ii. Cilantro: Finely chopped (see Ing Chem Manual for chopping guidelines)
4. If any spills occur, refer to SPILLCON.
5. If any burns (thermal or chemical), lacerations, punctures, during the procedure, refer to KDCP.
6. Combine all prepared ingredients in a OSHA approved bowl, and mix, as per OI 19.2: Mixing in medium to large bowls. Add Mayonnaise, Lemon Juice, and pinch of salt and pepper (see Ing Chem Manual for pinch guidelines)
7. Transfer to a non-porous storage container, meeting guidelines of Ing Chem Manual article 800: Perishable Food Storage
8. Clean up the kitchen, per KDCP - 2, Table 18: Kitchen Cleanup
9. Enjoy at any time, don't forget to wash your hands!

(Note: your tuna salad will in no way look or taste like
the professionally made one above
- photo credit: not me)